Right now we need to talk about something serious. This is very close to my heart, it's very personal for me, It makes me emotional in so many ways and above all its made me who I am today.
This is a tribute to my father and my bestfriend; William Trevor Myers.
When I was 8 years old my dad was diagnosed with a very vicious and progressive form of Multiple Sclerosis that had put him in a wheelchair in less than a year. He went from a cane to a walker straight to a wheelchair by the time I turned 9. It was hard for me and my family. Before we knew it our lives changed forever. My dad needed caregivers, he was completely reliant on my mom and brother, he needed to take tons of medication all the time, he was depressed and their was so much more going on. Unfortunately for me I actually cant remember my life in that period of time. I was young and traumatized by it that my memory blocked that whole part of my life out.
I believe that I don't remember because my mind is trying to protect me from the hurt and bad memories; I strongly believe that our minds block out certain parts of our lives to protect us from those memories that will damage us.
Anyways my dad was a heavy smoker, he always drank and he became a alcoholic. But never once did he ever put his alcohol before the needs of his children. That's what made my dad a great parent. We had many dealings with Children's aid when I was younger based on the fact they didn't believe or think my dad was capable of raising me in his state. Which could be true and its understandable to think that way; but based on my dad becoming sick and dependable I was forced to grow up very early and learn to take care of my self.
I never really had much of a childhood. My brother was in highschool when my dad got sick so he got to go everywhere and do everything but once my dad got sick he wasn't able to do those things with me. When I was a baby every morning well my mom was at work and my brother was at school my dad would take me out to Wasaga Beach with his boat and we would spend the day out in the water. He use to take me to our family owned factory where me and my cousin would play all day in the shipping and receiving area because it was fun and we grew up always going there! 3 or 4 times me and my family have went to Florida to go to my grand parents little trailer park in Fort Myers. Those were the best times; We went to the aquarium, Busch Gardens and many other different places. I can admit once I became a teenager I wasn't the best person to my dad, I was selfish, mean, aggressive and just plain terrible. If I could go back I would and just take back every terrible thing I did because my time wasn't enough.
As the years went on I watched my dad suffer more and more, Fall all the time, Always in so much pain, Always depressed, Always relying on bus's or me or community workers to help him. I hated watching him suffer like that. My dad never deserved it. He was the most kindest generous man I have ever met and he did everything for anyone before himself. Watching him hurt like that every day for nearly 11 years was harder than ever.
September 27, 2017 at 4:30 pm my dad had gotten a doctor assisted suicide.... I promised him i'd be there and I never was, why? because I was busy in court with Children's aid. I regret not being there. I regret not leaving the court house and saying good bye to my dad. All I had left of him was a voicemail he left me the night before and now even that's gone. I'm heart broken I always will be. But I'm glad he no longer has to suffer anymore. He didn't deserve the life he got. My dad is now happier and I'm just glad he got to meet his grandchildren and got to hug them and hold them before he left.
Dad I love you! I miss you & we will see each other again soon! I m sorry.
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